How to determine which newlywed will be in charge in the marriage?
question by an anonymous supplicant, answer by Dan Harris-Warrick
The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:

> Oracle, antithesis of a katerfelto, cause of hours of rapturous
> applause. Like a Kerchief of Plesaunce to the Soul you are the Smartest
> being to have ever logged on anywhere.
>
> Please, Wisest One, comment on the following:
>
> It is said: `If the bridegroom drinks therefrom before the bride, he
> will be master of his house; but if the bride gets the first draught,
> the mare will be the better horse.'
>
> Is this true? Is there a better, more modern way to determine this same
> fact?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:

} No, no, no. That one won't work at all anymore. Those "wedding
} planners" have the first sip of champagne scheduled like everything
} else on the little bridal checklist (item 127: Dance with bride's
} father. 145: Throw garter. 303: Have an affair.), so it's no good
} for prognostication. Here's an updated version:
}
} "If the groom sends the first e-mail from the honeymoon, than he
} will be dominant in the marriage; if the bride does, her filesystem
} will rule. (If they log on at the same time because they both
} brought computers on their honeymoon, the marriage will be a long
} and happy one.)"
}
} You owe the Oracle a set of wedding vows applicable to people who
} met and fell in love online.

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