Gruesome Murders Caused By Company Newsletter Typo
New York (Routers): A long nightmare has come to an end for the people at MaxCo, where a series of bizarre, ritualistic murders had left the entire company terrified to come in to work. The crimes weren't caused by a single maniac, as the police had previously suspected, but by a number of people acting individually, on the behest of the company newsletter.
"Well, when I first read the description of the activity in the Maxie, I thought it was a little odd," said Rick Metzler in Customer Services. "But then I thought 'Hey, they laughed at the Bowling Night too, right? And that was a blast!'. So when they gave me the name of Larry in Accounting, I took him down into the basement, cut out his heart and offered it up as a sacrifice to Our Dark Lord."
Added Rick, "I figured it was meant as a team spirit-building exercise."
Another participant was Laurie Peters, a mid-level manager. "I wasn't sure why they wanted us to do this," she said. "But I was afraid that if I didn't go along, I'd get passed up for that promotion again. So I put Willy the mailboy in a chalked pentagram and watched as the flames gradually consumed him. When nothing was left but his charred remains, I carefully swept them up and threw them in the dumpster. Neatness Counts!"
Larry and Willy were just two of the over a dozen victims of the company project gone horribly wrong. Several employees were disembowelled and fed to hungry rats, and one was even bled dry into a basin of blood that was then used to paint diabolic symbols on the front door.
The newsletter typo was eventually traced back to Sarah Jenkins, who writes and edits the Maxie. "It was just a mistake," she told reporters. "I just transposed a couple of letters. All I wanted to do was have a company-wide secret SANTA program!"