Characters
Bob the Wonder Cat: He fights crime and still finds time for catnaps.
Doctor Hound: Bob the Wonder Cat's arch-nemesis.

(Note to Bob and Hound: No, you don't actually have any dialogue in this script. But please come up on stage at the start of it anyway; I don't want the whole audience to figure out the gimmick for a while.)

Author's Note: This is a script that I've always wanted to write, but I never quite got up the nerve. But hey, this is my last No Shame Night before I graduate and go somewhere far, far from Chelsea, so I figure I'm allowed.
(BTWC and Hound try to enter, but Elf shoos them off)
Author's Note 2: This isn't the only script idea I've always been dying to do. I was going to write a "Chelseaholics Anonymous" script, with a bunch of people sitting around talking about a 12-step program for treatment of Chelsea addiction, but I could never make it work quite right. Someone else can take it, if they like.
Author's Note 3: There's also a snippet of dialogue I always wanted to use, but I never found the right script for it. It would be Person A and Person B talking about Person C, who's just left the room for some strange reason. Person A says, "He has some issues, doesn't he?" and Person B replies, "Issues? He has so many issues, he has a whole subscription!"
(BTWC and Hound try to enter again. Elf waves them off.)
Author's Note 4: Then I wanted to do a Quantum Leap parody set at Carleton. It would involve a physics major's Comps experiment gone horribly wrong, and he'd be leaping through time, trying to prevent disasters at Carleton. For instance, he could be trying to prevent someone from poisoning the food at Marriott one night. He'd fail, but nobody would notice.
Author's Note 5: Speaking of which, there's something I've been feeling kind of bad about. I've made a lot of Saga jokes at Chelsea over the years. I've gotten a lot of cheap laughs joking about how bad the food at Marriott is. And I feel I should apologize. Marriott, I'm sorry your food is so bad.
Author's Note 6: Whoops, there's another one. It's too easy. It's like they're swordfish in a bucket, and we all have Uzis.
(BTWC and Hound make a half-hearted attempt at entering. Elf waves them off.)
Author's Note 7: Warning: Soppy senior stuff ahead.
Author's Note 8: I want to use this time to thank all of the wonderful Chelseagoers who've given me such a great creative outlet. Especially my terrific co-writers and anyone who's been crazy enough to actually act out something I wrote. You guys are the best. Keep up the good work.
Author's Note 9: Where was I? Oh yeah, way back in the first author's note, I was going to explain this script, but I got distracted. I just wanted to say that I'd always wanted to write a script that was nothing but Author's Notes. Thanks for listening.