Characters
Velma--Once, she roamed the country with Scooby-Doo.
Bartender--What'll it be?
First guy in bar
Second guy in bar

Author's Note--What did I do this summer? Well, my area just got the Cartoon Channel, so I spent a lot of time catching up on shows I hadn't watched for a decade.

(Note to Velma: Play this as a melancholy drunk.)

(A seedy bar. Velma is sitting at the bar, staring down into a glass. The bartender is standing opposite her. Guys In Bar are sitting further down.)
Velma-Yeah, things were wonderful back then. We didn't have a care in the world. We were travelling around the country in the Mystery Machine. We'd always meet one of Daphne's "uncles," so we never had to worry about where to stay or what to eat. And the mysteries. Ah, the mysteries.
(She takes off her glasses, rubs them idly, and puts them back on.)
V-They were all the same, really. Somebody was dressing up as a monster, or a ghost, in order to scare people away. But as long as Shag and Scoob were with me, it seemed fresh every time. They always believed that the ghost was real, no matter how many of them I'd unmask. You'd think they had Alzheimer's or something. So while they were running around in terror, I'd uncover clues. "Jinkeys," I'd say.
(She looks down into her glass, then holds it out.)
V-Gimme another Scooby-Snack.
Bartender-You've been having a lot of those...
(He picks up a box, pulls something out and puts it in her glass. She pulls it out, takes a nibble and puts it back.)
V-So anyway, me, Daphne and Freddy would find the clues. I had a major crush on Freddy...he was big, and blonde, and he never said "zoinks!" But of course, he only had eyes for Daphne. She didn't care about him, of course, but he didn't know. He preferred her beauty to my brains...where was I?
B-Clues.
V-Oh yeah. The idiots who were dressing up as ghosts would always leave a few clues around, little subtle things like a box of oysters, or elaborate plans, or even the ghost costume. It was never all that hard to figure out who was behind things. Then we'd get to trap them. Back then, I always had a plan...
(She takes another nibble.)
V-Those guys always screwed up my beautiful plans, but somehow everything worked out anyway. Then I'd have my perfect moment...
(First guy in bar comes over to Velma. She ignores him.)
FGIB-Hey, is this seat taken?
V-(Still to Bartender) I'd turn to the guy (she turns to FGIB, and tugs at his face), I'd pull off his mask, and I'd go "You're really Mr. Jenkins!"
(FGIB's face doesn't come off.)
FGIB-Uh, never mind. (He retreats to the far end of the bar.)
V-And I was always right. Those guys hated it. "I woulda gotten away with it if it weren't for you meddling kids and that mangy mutt."
(She finishes off her Scooby Snack and holds out her cup to Bartender)
B-Sorry. You've had too much. I'm cutting you off.
V-(Looking down into her glass again.) I miss that "mangy mutt". The gang eventually broke up, and we all went our own ways. Daphne's modelling now, I think, and Freddy's gotten married. Shaggy made a fortune marketing his "Eat Like a Slob and Still Stay Skinny as a Rail" diet. But my life's just fallen apart. I tried to make it as a private eye, but my experience with people dressed up as ghosts didn't help me in trailing wayward husbands. So I've just been drifting...
(Second Guy In Bar comes over and sits down next to Velma.)
V-I just don't know where to go anymore.
SGIB-Ran I Ruy Rou a Rink?
V-What's that?
SGIB-Ran...I...Ruy...Rou...a...Rink?
V-Scooby? Scooby, is that you?
SGIB-Rup! Rat's Re! (He pulls off his mask, revealing himself to be Scooby-Doo)
V-Oh, Scoob! (Gives him a hug) Hey, let's go solve a mystery, huh?
(They leave the bar hand in hand.)
(Lights down.)