Characters
Bob: Mild-mannered college student. Large part.
Roommate: Large part.

Author's note: This script would be my attempt to get myself excommunicated, except that I was never communicated in the first place.

(The scene is a college dorm room. Roommate is lying on his bed, reading something. Bob is outside the door to the room.)
Bob: It was my first time living with a roommate, and I was a little nervous. What if he was weird?
(Bob opens the door and enters the room. Roommate looks up. Roommate has a long white beard and is wearing flowing white robes. Bob gapes at him.)
Roommate: Hi! You're Bob, right?
B: Are you...God?
R: Well, yes.
B: I'm a big fan of yours! I've read all your books!
R: All of them?
B: Well, only the Bible, actually.
R: You should pick up my latest. It's called Fatal Cure. Been on the New York Times bestseller list for 15 weeks.
B: God writes medical thrillers?
R: Sometimes I like to play doctor.
B: Oh. (He seems a little stunned, but still starts to unpack.)
R: You thirsty? There's Bud Light in the fridge.
B: The Almighty drinks American beer?
R: You get fed up with sacrificial wine after a while.
B: (sits down on his bed.) So why are you at Carleton, anyway? Don't you know everything already?
R: That's just the problem. Do you have any idea how boring it is being omniscient? Knowing every petty detail of what's going on everywhere in the universe? Worse yet, knowing exactly what I'm going to do tomorrow, and every moment until the end of time?
B: But why did you come here?
R: I figure after a few weeks, the stress and sleep deprivation will fry my brain, and I'll be able to forget stuff like normal people.
B: Ah.
R: Plus, I'm gonna party with Zeus. He lives next door, and he knows how to get chicks.
B: Oh yeah. You haven't had a lot of luck there, huh?
R: Tell me about it. I had one little fling and they're still talking about it.
B: You know, I wouldn't expect you and Zeus to get along very well.
R: There WAS a little unpleasantness when I stole all of his followers. But we're cool now.
B: So, uh, what classes are you taking?
R: Intro to Astro, Metalworking and Creative Writing.
B: Wow, these classes are really hard to get into! How'd you do it?
R: I just raised my hands and parted the Red Tape.
B: And what are you majoring in? Religion?
R: No. Frankly, I'm sick of religion. I'm majoring in Media Studies
. B: Why Media Studies?
R: Because it seems that right now, nobody's getting my message. (Pause) Oh, by the way, I've got my Heavenly Choir in the closet. Sorry. There isn't a whole lot of space left for your stuff.
B: (Opens the closet door. Angelic singing flows out. Bob makes a face and hastily slams the door again.) That's okay. I don't have a lot of stuff.
G: I can't get away from them. I'm tired of constantly hearing the angelic singing, but what can you do? It wouldn't look right for the angels to do gangsta rap, and a man in my position has to have angels around.
B: Yeah. (Pause) So, I have to ask. What's it all about? What is the meaning of life, the ultimate purpose?
R: Mangoes. Mangoes are nice.
B: Mangoes? But where do humans come in?
R: Someone has to cultivate the mangoes. Besides, you humans came up with so many clever things to do with the mangoes: Mango juice, mango-flavored candy, Mango Madness Snapple, and so on.
B: (Reeling) You're kidding, right?
R: Well, yes. But you humans are all so serious about the Big Questions that I can't resist.
B: Oh. (Pause) So which bed do you want?
(Lights down.)