Characters:
Seductive guy--large part.
Floozy--large part.

Author's note: Have you ever thought about what the book "Green Eggs and Ham" is really teaching kids? "Sam I Am" could use a lesson on "No Means No."

(Note to Chelsea Elf: Don't read these notes to characters out loud. Do read the author's note out loud, though.)
(Note to seductive guy: You are slimy and seductive through the whole script.)
(Note to floozy: You start off coy, but shift to eager after you try the "green eggs and ham.")

Seductive guy: I am Sam....Sam I am.
Floozy: That Sam I am... that Sam I am... I do not like that Sam I am.
SG: Do you like "green eggs and ham"?
F: I do not like them, Sam I am. I do not like "green eggs and ham".
SG: Would you like them here or there?
F: I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them, Sam I am.
SG: Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse?
F: I would not like them in a house, I would not like them with a mouse! I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere.
SG: Would you eat them in a box? Would you eat them with a fox?
F: No, not in a box, not with a fox! Not in a house, not with a mouse! I would not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere! I would not eat "green eggs and ham", I do not like them, Sam I am!
SG: Would you, could you, in a car? Eat them, eat them, here they are!
F: I would not, could not in a car!
SG: You may like them, you wll see. You may like them in a tree.
F: I would not, could not in a tree. Not in a car, now let me be! Not in a box, not with a fox, not in a house, not with a mouse! I would not like them here or there, I would not like them anywhere! I do not like "green eggs and ham", I do not like them, Sam I am!
SG: Could you, would you on a train?
F: No, not on a train, not in a tree, not in a car. Sam, let me be! Not in a box, not with a fox, not with a mouse, not in a house! Not here or there, not anywhere!
SG: In the dark? Here, in the dark? Would you, could you, in the dark?
F: I would not, could not, in the dark!
SG: Would you, could you in the rain?
F: I would not could not in the rain! Not in the dark, not on a train! Not in a car, not in a tree! I would not like them, Sam you see!
SG: Would you, could you, wth a goat?
F: I would not, could not with a goat! I will not eat them here or there, I would not eat them anywhere!
SG: Would you, could you on a boat?
F: I would not, would not on a boat! I will not, will not with a goat! Not in the rain, not on a train!
SG: You do not like them, so you say. Try them, try them, and you may! Try them and you may I say!
F: Sam, if you will let me be, I will try them, and you will see!
(They embrace.)
F: I like "green eggs and ham"! I do, I like them, Sam I am! And I would eat them in a boat, and I would eat them with a goat, and I will eat them in the rain and in the dark and on a train and in a car and in a tree they are so good so good you see! So I will eat them in a box and I will eat them with a fox and I will eat them in a house and I will eat them with a mouse and I will eat them here or there and I will eat them anywhere! I do so like "green eggs and ham"! Thank you, thank you, Sam I am!

Author's postscript: Just wait until I get a copy of "The Cat in the Hat."