Characters:
Joe
Tech Support Person 1
Tech Support Person 2

Author's note: I offer my sincere apologies to the Beatles.

(Joe is in the CMC, staring at a computer screen.)

(To the tune of "Yesterday")
Joe: Yesterday
All my deadlines seemed so far away
Now everything's due by next Monday
Oh how I long for yesterday
Suddenly
I'm not half the man I used to be
I am stuck here at the CMC
Oh, due dates rush up suddenly
Why I had to shirk
I don't know, I couldn't say
I put off my work
Now I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay
Yesterday
I could run and eat and sleep and play
Now I'm sitting here through night and day
Oh how I long for yesterday

(He starts typing. Many hours pass. Joe is almost done with his paper when...)
Joe: Damn! (He whacks the screen.)

Joe: (To the tune of "Help")
Help! I need somebody!
Help! Not just anybody!
Help! I need some tech support
Heeeeeelp!
When I got started on this paper yesterday
I never needed anybody's help in any way
But now the screen's gone blue I'm feeling very sick
And now I find
And now I find I need some help from people at the SCIC
(He walks over to the fishbowl)
Joe: (continuing the song)
Help me if you can I'm feeling green
Help me now and please put down that magazine
Help me get my work back on the screen
Won't you please, please help me?

(There are two Tech Support People sitting at the fishbowl)
TSP1: Hey, no problem. We can help you out.
TSP2: You're lucky you're here at the...

(To the tune of "She loves you")
TSP1: C-M-C, yeah, yeah, yeah
C-M-C, yeah, yeah, yeah
C-M-C, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah...
TSP2: You think you've lost your work
You've written since yesterday-ay-ay
But don't be such a jerk
Cause we can fix it right a way-ay-ay
At the C-M-C!
TSP1: And you know that can't be bad...yeah, yeah, yeah
With workers like us
You know you should be glad!

TSP1: So just lead us to the problem.
(Joe leads TSPs to the computer. The Blue Screen of Death is still there.)
TSP1: Hmmm...looks bad.
TSP2: But we'll see what we can do.
(They tap at the machine for a while. They frown, and look back at Joe)

(To the tune of "You're gonna lose that girl")
(Note: The lines in this song overlap. I won't try to write in the overlaps, I'll just count on you to sing it right.)
TSP1: You're gonna lose your work
TSP2: Yes, yes, you're gonna lose your work
TSP1: You're gonna loooooose your work
If you don't have a back up disk then your paper is gone
TSP2: Then your paper is gone
TSP1: Next time just make a back up disk
Or you'll be here 'till dawn
TSP2: You're not the only one
TSP1: You're gonna lose your work
TSP2: Yes, yes, you're gonna lose your work
TSP1: You're gonna loooose your work
TSP2: Yes, yes, you're gonna lose your work
TSPs together: You're gonna looooooooooose your work!

(TSPs leave, leaving Joe to stare dumbly at his screen. Finally, he gets philosophical about the whole ordeal)

(To the tune of "It's only love")
I get low when things I wrote just go
Where'd they go
Why my machine crashed now I don't know
But it's so
Deadlines are my foe
As I start wri-i-i-ting
It's only time, and that is all
Why should I feel the way I do
It's only time, and that is all
And it's time to...start anew...

(Joe starts typing again.)
(Lights down.)