Characters
Person in Audience
Another Person in Audience

Author's note: I apologize in advance for this script. I was in a very weird mood when I wrote it.

(Note to Elf: Don't read any of the stage directions out loud.)
(Persons in Audience should be seated in the first row.)

(Silence for about 30 seconds.)
Person in Audience: I don't get this play at all.
Another Person in Audience: Neither do I. It's just a blank stage. What's the point?
PIA: I think it's meant to parody all those scripts that have characters running around like crazy.
APIA: In that case, you'd think there'd be a person sitting motionless on stage. No, I think it's supposed to be a parody of John Cage's "4:33." Look at the title: "11:17."
PIA: But a parody has to make fun of the material in the original work. 4:33 didn't have any original material to make fun of. It was just silence. How can you make fun of that?
APIA: You may be right. Maybe it's supposed to be a comment on the nature of the medium. The silence could be to force us to analyze our reasons for being here when we could be out getting stoned.
PIA: Or to make us think that we already are. But anyway, hasn't commenting on the nature of the medium gone out of style by now?
APIA: I dunno. I haven't kept up with art trends.
PIA: Maybe it's an ironic postmodern comment on society.
APIA: But the author is a psych major, not an english major.
PIA: Oh yeah. I bet this is part of a psych experiment. He wants to see how the audience will react.
APIA: Hey, Dan! We've figured you out! You'll have to end the study now!
(Silence for 10 seconds.)
PIA: I guess that wasn't it.
APIA: Or maybe we were supposed to figure it out. He wants to know how we'll react to knowing that we're in an experiment.
PIA: You're getting Kafkaesque. Or maybe just paranoid. What if it's supposed to be one of those angst-ridden monologues, but the author is so angst-ridden that he can't find the words to express it? Then the empty stage would symbolize the depth of his inner pain.
APIA: That does sound like something a college student would do. He'd probably think it was really deep and meaningful, too. But the trouble is, I know Dan, and he doesn't have any inner pain.
PIA: I'd forgotten that. Maybe it's a testament to the last episode of "Seinfeld." You know, a play about nothing to commemorate a show about nothing?
APIA: Or maybe the whole thing's just a bit of No Shame Night silliness.
PIA: I bet that's it. Well, I hope it's over soon, so we can go on to a Star Wars parody or something.
(Silence for 15 more seconds, then lights down.)