Whose Faulty Vision

Wilder

Part of the reason things have been complicated for me lately–hell, most of the reason, let’s be honest–is the situation with Wilder. As I posted a few weeks ago, she broke up with me because she decided she didn’t want to be in a relationship that she knew wasn’t going to last. But we stayed in touch, and ended up drifting back into a relationship, including one really awesome weekend recently.

So after that really awesome weekend, her feelings were shifting, and last Wednesday she said that she wanted to get back together. I should want that, right? Based on everything that I’ve said and thought about our relationship. But I thought about it for a couple of days, and decided that I didn’t want to be in a relationship that I knew wasn’t going to last.

I’m one of Nature’s monogamists. I’m wired for long-term, happy relationships. And especially now, between me getting older and seeing friends all around me getting married, I want to try to find someone who I may be able to spend the rest of my life with.

So Wilder and I talked again over the weekend, and I decided to break it off. It was incredibly hard–she’s a great person, and I wish things could be different–but I think it was the right decision.

So it’s over again, and this time I think for good. Sigh. Back on the dating scene.