Whose Faulty Vision

Palm Emulator for iPhone

The iPhone is getting a PalmOS emulator! Freaking awesome. That means, when I upgrade, that any apps that I love now but don’t have iPhone versions, I’ll be able to just run the Palm version instead. Which pretty much relieves whatever worries I had about switching. Now, come on, Apple, release the 3G iPhones already!

Actual Quotes, Which I Swear I’m Not Making Up, from a Handout Found at The PetCo in Union Square

Is a hissing cockroach the right companion animal for you?

Check “Yes” or “No” after reading the following statements.

1. I have an appropriate location and space for this cockroach.
2. I can feed and clean up after a cockroach daily.
3. I want a pet that doesn’t need to be cuddled or touched.
4. I can commit to providing proper care for a cockroach.
5. A mature person will provide responsible and primary care for this companion animal.

If you answered “Yes” to these statements, a Madagascar hissing cockroach may be the right choice for you!

Okay, Madagascar hissing cockroaches are cool critters, and I would never suggest that they should be abused just because they’re overgrown versions of the pests that NYC apartment dwellers pay good money to have killed. But come on, it’s a cockroach. It’s not a “companion animal.”

(As a side note, it’s funny that a company called “PetCo” seems to be trying as hard as possible to avoid the word “pet”.)

But that’s not the best part. Check this:

Red Flags

• Swollen limbs
• Lethargic
• Bumps, sores or abrasions
• Weight loss
• Abnormal feces
• Discharge in mouth or eyes
• Dull exoskeleton

If you notice any of these signs, please contact your exotic animal veterinarian.

Yeah, I can just see that, can’t you? I rush in to my exotic animal veterinarian, yelling, “quick, doc! You’ve got to help! My cockroach has abnormal feces, and I think he may be losing weight!”

Idea File: Misguided Reviews

You know what would be funny? Writing reviews of movies as though you thought they were in a completely different genre than they actually are. Like reviewing “Iron Man” as a romantic comedy. I think there could be a lot of comedy mileage in that.

You know, kind of like those re-edited trailers you see online occasionally, that portray the movie as being in a different genre. “The Shining” as a Nora Ephron-style comedy, that sort of thing.

Beyond Good & Evil 2

There’s a new Beyond Good & Evil game coming out! The first one didn’t sell very well, but it was an excellent game, with some of the best writing I’ve seen in a video game. Hope the sequel holds up that standard.

The Benefit of High Gas Prices

I have been saying for a while that environmentalists should be in favor of high gas prices. Stories like this are why. High gas prices mean that people are walking more, taking public transportation more, trading down to vehicles that don’t use as much gas…in short, dumping a lot less CO2 into the atmosphere.

A lot of economists are saying that we should raise taxes a good deal on gas, because it’s the best way to lower CO2 emissions. Much as I’m never in favor of giving the government more money, I think the economists have me convinced on this one. Pity it’s completely politically infeasible.

Feeling Better

Well, I went and did a couple of loops around Central Park on my rollerblades, and I’m feeling better. I love the city in the summer, and I love Central Park in the summer, and between the two of them they always perk me up.

Anger Returning